Street Harassment
by 
under 
with Five years ago today I reflected on the events of a clear yesterday in September. I wrote seven pages and entitled the piece “Tomorrow.” It was a personal, introspective piece raw with emotion. I’ve never let anyone read the whole thing, and probably never will, but there’s one passage that stuck out to me as I contemplated it again, today:
I fear for the future… I hope that some semblance of the life I knew before today will return in due time.
“Due time” - it turns out - is nearly instantaneous. The world hasn’t changed at all - we’re still our stupid, selfish human selves, more obsessed with one girl’s death than the Congo (read: largest loss of life on the planet due to conflict since World War II).
In the midst of all this human idiocy and apathy, there’s this phenomenon that is totally destructive and I am still perplexed about. It’s called street harassment. It’s anytime anyone makes a cat call, tries to cop a feel, or does anything lewd at someone else in public. It’s usually men doing it to women, and it’s usually in urban and suburban areas. My big question is: WHY?
I bring this up today because I stumbled upon Feminist.com and was nearly laughing at some of the FAQs (”How do I get my teenage daughter to stop dating a 30 year old?” - it’s funny because I know several girls who have done this, and I am just as confused as those parents) when I came across one about street harassment. It sobered me up quickly.
It’s Personal
You see, I’m very close to several girls that this has affected. Most of the time it happens to them when they’re out for a run or jog. Imagine this: it’s rush hour in a suburb and a bunch of cars are stopped at a stoplight. You’re running past the cars on the sidewalk a couple feet away and in their boredom the commuters begin to call you names, make lewd suggestions, and even reach out to grope or slap you. These are respectable business men in suites with cell phones driving 300’s. And they’re sexually harassing you on the street in a suburb they might live in on a road they drive everyday. If this every happened to me, it would be a profoundly disturbing and shaking experience. Yet for some, it seems almost common place. In the words of one of my friends:
It’s happened to me almost every time I’ve been running in Boston.
The strength to deal with that, even if just by ignoring it, is incredible.
It’s Big
And this is happening all over the world. Which includes here. In America. Not Afghanistan where girls’ schools are being blown up. In your backyard. On your commutor route. At your college.
There have been some attempts to create awareness domestically and abroad. The most promising site seems to be Holla Back NYC, which combines educating women in how to respond and encouraging the posting of cell phone pictures of the men doing the harassment. I direly hope that organizations and sites like these continue to be successful in getting their message out.
And I Don’t Get It
I can understand most off-color and inappropriate jokes. I may even laugh at how purely juvenile and offensive they are. But they’re jokes, and if I’m laughing at it, then it was shared between friends and wasn’t meant in a malicious way. Street harassment is so far beyond that…I can’t even comprehend it.
I honestly have no idea as to the motivations behind street harassment. Why would some guy actually say something mean out loud to some random girl he’s never met? I seriously have no clue. It’s destructive and benefits no one, including the guy saying it. So why do it?
I think this sort of behavior is despicable and we should try to make more people aware of it as an actual, real problem. It’s one of those things that I didn’t have a good title for, but now that I do, I’m going to be making sure that the word is out: street harassment is a big problem with deep, personal implications, and it needs to stop.
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The sad thing is — this was happening to me a lot at one point and I kept complaining about it to one of my friends. She responded that I should be glad these people apparently find me attractive, since she never got the number of catcalls and whistles that I did.
It’s not about attraction. It’s about a power struggle. And until women can finally realise that, it’s going to be hard to convince men…
Thanks for this post. I’d be interested in the advice of others who’ve dealt with this. My usual reaction is to flip the guy off (or, in the T recently, tell them to fuck off), but since this is a power game, it ususally just pisses the person off more and they keep whistling/calling/groping. It probably just encourages them to go do it to some other girl who won’t “fight back” so they can feel better about themselves. I liked the advice from feminist.com — “Ask them ‘why?’” I’ll have to try that some time.
2
(Post Author)
Just like the last time we talked about gender your insight is well thought out and valuable. I also think that asking “why?” is a good start because it might force the guy to begin to admit that there are dark issues concerning power dwelling within him.
3
I appreciate this post. I think a lot of guys are unaware of how much of a problem street harassment is, since it doesn’t happen as often when women are walking with male friends. It’s a good thing to talk about.
I went to a “community dialogue” (don’t laugh–I was fed up) on street harassment, and one of the things that people recommended was making a statement like “Stop harassing women. I don’t like it. Nobody likes it.” or “Show some respect” as you walk past without stopping. That’s a fairly different approach than asking “why?” but I can see both being useful depending on the setting. Neither of these work for the drive-bys though.
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hi guys… your site slipped in one of my bookmark folders some months ago. everythime i wheel-click this folder now your site opens as well… all the time i was wondering if there might something interesting, new or even entertaining here.
I have been dissapointed every time. Don\’t be upset but listen to someone who knows and is honest to you: your site sucks! the navigation and overall layout is fubar. your presentation is far from being witty and the content is a desaster. the funny \”always beta\” theme is something you seem to have lost in transmission. oh and did i mention how utterly boring the colors are?
now after seeing the \”comments activity\”-diagram i feel that i am not the only one. Remember: features are useful if someone there is some use for them. Thats like mounting a wheel on top of your car. It works… for the laughs.
please consider this rant constructive feedback… and yes: please write more about the emo-poem you wrote five years ago (only read the first line)
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(aβ Member)
To satisfy my curiosity - what are some sites you would suggest that have great navigation and layout? How about some sites with colors you appreciate?
I’ll consider your rant constructive feedback under a few conditions:
1) You actually offer something constructive.
2) You actually read posts.
3) You point to some examples of designs and layouts you find exemplary.
Then we’ll talk. Until then your rant is, well, a rant.
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(Trackback)
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[…] alwaysBETA » Street Harassment Imagine this: it’s rush hour in a suburb and a bunch of cars are stopped at a stoplight. You’re running past the cars on the sidewalk a couple feet away and in their boredom the commuters begin to call you names, make lewd suggestions, and even reach (tags: harassment street women sexism feminism) […]
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I just need to put in my two cents and say that I disagree wholly on your accusations, feckbert. I love the design and come here when I need some inspiration, the blog itself is a plus.
I particularly like how you don’t like to your site. Clever.